A Night's Sleep

After a number of night's where I have not slept well, or not slept sufficiently because of getting involved in my knitting, I managed to get quite a few hours sleep last night (and this morning).

Yesterday I had to go into one of the shopping centres that my home is situated between (it's almost halfway between both of them and there is sufficient differences in the shops available to warrant the use of both for different purposes). I needed to post a package, and I needed to get something to put it in so going to the centre that has a large Post Office was necessary. This also happens to be the centre that has my nearest shop for knitting supplies and I wanted to have a look for some wool for my stash (knitters love having a stash that they can dip into when the need arrives).

After posting my parcel (a present and card for There and Back whose birthday it is tomorrow) I decided to walk to the large Sainsbury's that is further down the high street. When I say further down, I actually mean almost two miles further down, but it meant that I could buy the one or two things that I can't get in the smaller Sainsbury's in the other shopping centre. While there I decided to take advantage of its cafeteria and treated myself to lunch, a huge jacket potato with cheese and baked beans and a good helping of side salad all washed down with a glass of diet Pepsi. At least it was a healthy meal and like many of those with severe depression I am often guilty of not eating regularly or healthily.

Then I started on the long walk home, with a promise of calling into the wool shop on the way. While in there I found a lovely multicolour yarn that I though would be good for the stash with a view to it being used for a really colourful afghan. I had made a calculation of how much I would need for the afghan and decided to buy a couple of extra balls (just in case) but when we started to look for sufficient balls of the same dye lot, it was not possible. So I decided to settle for half of my requirement in one dye lot and half in another. This meant that hopefully any slight difference in the colours can be disguised by using the dye lots alternately. There was also one ball which had lost its label which meant that it couldn't be sold so the owner very kindly gave me that one for free. This means that with the extra balls that I bought for 'just in case' I may actually have enough to knit a short-sleeved jumper for myself for wearing at home in the summer. I call that a bargain.

So now I had to walk the last part of the way home, but this time somewhat laden with my shopping. Neither of the bags were heavy, but they were bulky and I was getting warm and feeling the effects of all my exercise. I made it home, kicked off my shoes from my now throbbing feet and sat down to take a rest. I had walked a lot further than I had done for a long time and the unaccustomed exercise had taken its toll. It didn't take too long for my legs to stiffen up and I ended up struggling around for the next couple of hours like a very old woman. And if you read this Mr Smiley, I don't want any smart comments.

Last night I went to bed at a reasonable hour, read until my eyes could hardly stay open, then fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow. Apart from a couple of brief wakeful periods (one for a call of nature and one to get something to eat because my stomach was rumbling) I slept until 10am this morning. And I am feeling the benefit of that sleep.

I'm planning to go for another walk this afternoon, but nothing quite as demanding as yesterday, and hoping to sleep well again. I know that is not certain because Thursday nights usually end with little sleep as I get anxious about Friday's psychotherapy session. But I can hope, can't I?

Feeling ......... ?

I'm having a bit of a weird day today. I'm not feeling brilliant, but I can't really put my finger on what is wrong with me. I'm having one of those periods where my body is telling me that I need to get some sleep (that's mainly as a result of me watching the Olympics at ridiculous hours of the night) so last night I had an early night. I went to sleep fairly quickly, and I've spent a lot of time since then sleeping, which probably means that I won't sleep tonight.

But I also keep coming over dizzy, even when I am sitting down, so that is why I say I am feeling strange. It's not like how I feel when I have labyrinthitis, so I am pretty sure it's not that, but trying to actually describe how I am feeling is rather difficult.

Never mind, I am sure that I will have days when I feel a lot worse, and at least I have caught up on some of my missed sleep. Watching the Olympics and seeing how well our boys and girls are doing has been excellent therapy for a depressive armchair athlete (actually I do exercise, but my days of doing really energetic things are long passed).

They say that exercise is good for helping to lift you out of depression; when someone else is doing the exercise and it is still having a beneficial effect on how you feel, so much the better.

Falling Apart

Why does everything on or in your body start falling apart when you get to 50. If this isn't a clear indicator that living for "three score years and ten" was the absolute limit to what we could expect, then I don't know what is. I remember my Cambridgeshire GP making joking remarks to me as I approached my 50th birthday, that on that date things would really start to pack up and go wrong. What really upsets me is that it seems that he was right.

Since reaching that horrendous milestone, I have injured just about every muscle in my legs, I have had a couple of attacks of sciatica, one of which left me crawling around on my hands and knees as it was impossible to walk, I have had a couple of bouts of labyrinthitis which left me feeling seasick while still on dry land, a frozen shoulder from who knows where, and an emergency gall bladder operation a couple of days before I was due to go on holiday with my father (he died a couple of months later).

There can be no doubt that things really do not work so well when you get older. I have tried to remain as active as I can over the years, but just warming up to be ready to take some exercise can result in breathlessness and working up a sweat. I know that if we have a couple of dry days over the next week, I am going to get a really good dose of exercise. I'm going to have to cut the grass, and as the house is on a corner, there is a huge lawn at the side.

I shall wear my pedometer just to check how much walking I do backwards and forwards with the mower and emptying the grass into the bin.

I hate gardening!