Tuesday, 22 February 2011

No Pterodactyls Here

It's Tuesday. Tuesday is psychotherapy day and in the past I have written about the butterflies in my stomach that seemed to be the size of pterodactyls as the awful hour approached. I used to try everything I could on a Friday morning to keep the anxiety under control but usually it was in vain.

When I was having psychotherapy with J last year I found that I rarely had any signs of anxiety until he called me into his office, at which point I would be overcome with such gut-wrenching anxiety that it was possible to see the physical effect that it was having on me. J always used to say that to see me like this made him feel as though he was torturing me.

But one thing I have noticed since I started group psychotherapy just a month ago is that there don't seem to be any particularly signs of anxiety at all. It still isn't the most comfortable experience in the world but there is no stomach churning, no feeling of butterflies, and definitely no pterodactyls.

Monday, 21 February 2011

Just Filling You In

Yes, it's really true, I am back blogging again and I have been amazed to receive comments from some old regulars because I had thought that everybody would have forgotten me.

I'm afraid that I don't have a particularly good excuse for not blogging, just complete inertia on my part. The depression has been relatively stable over the last few months although there have been a couple of blips but nothing that I haven't been able to cope with.

When I last posted I was talking about all the Christmas presents that I was knitting. I'm pleased to say that all of them except one were ready and given in time for the big day and the one that was late was only a few days late. Since then, I have continued with my knitting but I have started to work on a new project which may take me a while but will, I hope, be of great benefit to new knitters (I'll tell you more in another post).

So, what have I been up to? My crochet classes on a Thursday evening fill up almost as soon as they are put on the website and four courses have now been completed. And I have now started teaching knitting on a Tuesday evening. I still can't believe that I am being paid to do something that I love so much and I am glad that I am able to impart some of my knowledge to a new generation of knitters and crocheters.

As regular readers will know when I was receiving psychotherapy last year my therapist referred me for group therapy. I joined a group at the end of January so my Tuesdays are now quite busy. It's a quick lunch then on to the bus to take me to the hospital where the group meets, and hour and a half of talking and then across the road to catch a bus to the shop where I can indulge in a couple of hours knitting before the knitting class starts.

The biggest change, however, is my move to new accommodation. I now live in a basement flat situated in a house which provides accommodation and support for 21 people with mental health problems. My accommodation comes free of charge because I provide night cover for the residents. On the evenings that I am teaching one of the day staff takes care of the evening routine until I return at about 10pm. The job is not exactly demanding requiring me to only 'work' for a couple of hours each evening, and once completed I am free to return to my accommodation and go to bed whenever I want.

It seems that for the first time in many years that I am having some good luck for a change and that I do seem to have a bit of a future.

I'm Back

After an absence of a couple of months I am back. I've nagged myself several times over the last month or so about not blogging and this morning I have been jogged into logging in to the blog because of a new comment about my Christmas knitting.

A lot has happened since I last posted on here and I shall give details over the next few days, until then may I wish everyone a belated Happy New Year and an early Happy Easter!