Is It Blogger's Block Or Too Much Whirling About In My Mind?

I've managed to make it to the library again so that I can write something for the blog, though having now sat down to do so I find myself struggling for something to say. This is a somewhat unusual situation for me to be in because while I find it very difficult to talk to people, I usually have very little problem writing about whatever springs to mind.

I have been feeling really under the weather for the last few days. I have been very tearful much of the time, found it difficult to settle to do anything for longer than five minutes, and been in excruciating pain from the surgery that I underwent last week. the pain has been so intense that there have been times when it has brought me out in a cold sweat and caused overwhelming bouts of nausea.

And sleep has been difficult to come by even though the medication that I take at night often leaves me drowsy throughout much of the following day. For the last two days I have been eating breakfast and then going back to bed to try to catch up a little on what I seem to be missing at night, but I don't want to do this too much because I am afraid that I will get back to the cycle of nocturnal living that I was going through a few months ago.

While all of this is happening my mind seems to be constantly churning over stuff, much of it things that I don't want to think about at the moment. I know that I can't put everything off for ever, but I need to deal with things in manageable portions so that I don't become so overloaded that I implode again.

So, it's a strange post from me, but hopefully having actually sat down to write it has helped in some small way. I shall be back again tomorrow when I will hopefully have something more meaningful to say.

Falling Apart

Why does everything on or in your body start falling apart when you get to 50. If this isn't a clear indicator that living for "three score years and ten" was the absolute limit to what we could expect, then I don't know what is. I remember my Cambridgeshire GP making joking remarks to me as I approached my 50th birthday, that on that date things would really start to pack up and go wrong. What really upsets me is that it seems that he was right.

Since reaching that horrendous milestone, I have injured just about every muscle in my legs, I have had a couple of attacks of sciatica, one of which left me crawling around on my hands and knees as it was impossible to walk, I have had a couple of bouts of labyrinthitis which left me feeling seasick while still on dry land, a frozen shoulder from who knows where, and an emergency gall bladder operation a couple of days before I was due to go on holiday with my father (he died a couple of months later).

There can be no doubt that things really do not work so well when you get older. I have tried to remain as active as I can over the years, but just warming up to be ready to take some exercise can result in breathlessness and working up a sweat. I know that if we have a couple of dry days over the next week, I am going to get a really good dose of exercise. I'm going to have to cut the grass, and as the house is on a corner, there is a huge lawn at the side.

I shall wear my pedometer just to check how much walking I do backwards and forwards with the mower and emptying the grass into the bin.

I hate gardening!