Monday, 18 January 2010

High Anxiety (Apologies To Mel Brooks)

It's been another night with little sleep. I didn't dare take the sleep medication because I had to be up early this morning to go to see both the HTT and my psychologist. I know why I didn't sleep; it was the overwhelming feeling of anxiety that started to come over me yesterday evening. This morning I am like a coiled spring and I feel that I am likely to explode at any moment.

This complete irrationality about talking about how I have been feeling over the last couple of weeks to the HTT ( I chickened out of last Monday's visit) and what is to come later when I am with psychologist is what makes my mental health problems so draining on me both physically and emotionally.

The silliest thing about the state which I find myself in is that I know exactly what is going to happen. It's not fear of the unknown that worries me but anticipation of what is about to occur.

1 comment:

BenefitScroungingScum said...

I hope you're feeling a little calmer by now? Massive congratulations on the Shadow Health Sec thingy, you'll be amazing (can you put in a good word for me about their welfare policies please?!)

I totally relate to the not being able to settle to anything thing, I don't know where all my time is going but I reckon most of it's lost somewhere wandering from activity to activity. I'm always much better if I have something to do for someone else as motivation so if you want a project I'd really, really love some wrist warmers please

Hugs n love, BG Xx