Thursday, 28 January 2010

The Day After

I don't expect that it will come as much of a surprise to anyone that I didn't sleep last night. By midnight I had been crying pretty much non-stop since I had received the phone call and I had a headache that felt as though it was going to split my head open.

Today I have managed some sleep and the headache has now gone, but I still feel like sh*t. I still have to finish my final submission for my OU course so I am going to have to burn the midnight oil tonight in an effort to at least have something written to send off before midday tomorrow.

I have managed to eat one meal today; I had a couple of rolls with chicken in them as a late lunch at about 2.30pm. It was easy to prepare and it didn't need an lot of effort to eat. It has been much more difficult to stop myself from opening the gin bottle. Vodka is my tipple of choice but I don't have any of that. The gin was bought as duty free the last time that I went to Canada and has remained unopened since then. I know that having a drink is the wrong thing to do, but it doesn't stop me wanting to use it as a means of escape from how I am feeling at the moment.

I shall be sensible, however, and the alcohol will stay untouched. I shall eat a bar of chocolate instead. The calories are a pain, but it tastes good and for a few minutes I will be able to forget how awful I am feeling.


alhi said...

Hang in there. And phone B and ask why you didn't get the job and what the person had who did get it that you didn't have.

Anonymous said...

Please don’t be so disheartened about not getting the job. Do ring up and see why you didn’t get it, it’s always good to get some feedback. In the mean time please take care of yourself, you have come so far in the past couple of months, this is bound to set you back it’s only natural especially even more so when you played such an important part in creating the job role.

Lily said...

:( Definitely ask why you didn't get the job. And if you keep doing the presentations make sure they give you travelling expenses.

I know its difficult, but try not to let it get to you too much. You've got that amazing meeting at the House of Commons coming up.

If you need a cup of tea or a chat I'm around all day tomorrow.


steph said...

Ow! I can feel your hurt!

There's little more I can add to Achelois's wonderful comment on yesterday's post.

In time, I hope that this huge disappointment will evolve into a learning curve which you can use to your own benefit.

Hang in there. Good will out!