Chocolate Free Easter

I'm having a chocolate free Easter. Yes, you read that correctly. It's Easter and not a single piece of chocolate will pass my lips.

Easter eggs are not the sort of thing that you buy for yourself, so I am able to be good and not indulge in extra calories. This is a good thing because after years of struggling with my weight after having put on about 4 stone courtesy of one particular antidepressant, I seem to be losing weight.

I don't possess a set of scales because I have become so self-conscious of my size over the years. But when my trousers start to be loose around my waist and have to be constantly pulled up so that they don't drag along the ground, I know that the weight must be going.

To lose all the weight that I put on is going to take a very long time, but if I continue to lose it slowly as I have over the last couple of months then I hope that I can look forward to a slimmer me. I know that it is unlikely that I will go back to my former weight because I am no longer as active as I used to be, but losing weight is a good thing and I am sure that doing so will do much for my mood too.

The Day After

I don't expect that it will come as much of a surprise to anyone that I didn't sleep last night. By midnight I had been crying pretty much non-stop since I had received the phone call and I had a headache that felt as though it was going to split my head open.

Today I have managed some sleep and the headache has now gone, but I still feel like sh*t. I still have to finish my final submission for my OU course so I am going to have to burn the midnight oil tonight in an effort to at least have something written to send off before midday tomorrow.

I have managed to eat one meal today; I had a couple of rolls with chicken in them as a late lunch at about 2.30pm. It was easy to prepare and it didn't need an lot of effort to eat. It has been much more difficult to stop myself from opening the gin bottle. Vodka is my tipple of choice but I don't have any of that. The gin was bought as duty free the last time that I went to Canada and has remained unopened since then. I know that having a drink is the wrong thing to do, but it doesn't stop me wanting to use it as a means of escape from how I am feeling at the moment.

I shall be sensible, however, and the alcohol will stay untouched. I shall eat a bar of chocolate instead. The calories are a pain, but it tastes good and for a few minutes I will be able to forget how awful I am feeling.