I don't know what is wrong with me. I got through Christmas and I had hoped that things would start to improve a little, but if anything I am going downhill at a rather alarming rate. Last night I had absolutely no sleep whatsoever and I am not sure that tonight is going to be any better.
Today has seen me just sitting around doing nothing because I had neither the energy nor the inclination. I had hoped to get some studying done today but I can't concentrate on anything for more than about 10 minutes so that was a non-starter. I've also managed to lose one of my knitting needles that I am using to knit the wrist warmers so I am stuck with the knitting on three needles and no needle to transfer onto. Yes, they are knitted on double-pointed needles so I am knitting in the round which means that the stitches are spread around three needles and you use the fourth needle from the set to knit the next set of stitches and then when they are all off that needle, it becomes the spare. But I'm not sure that I could have concentrated on the knitting enough to do some anyway.
And I haven't managed to cook myself anything today either because I just couldn't be bothered, but I have eaten. I have to phone the HTT tomorrow for my weekly report (as a concession to it being the holiday season I can report over the phone and not go in person for them to eyeball me) and I'm not sure how I am going to answer the questions that I will be asked. Do I tell the truth, or do I give non-committal answers?
I also have a half completed post for the Tackling the Mental Health Minefield waiting for me to sit down and finish it. I want to do just that, because I still have quite a few more posts to write for the series and I don't want too much time to pass before writing them so that my recollection doesn't become too hazy. Fortunately, most of the remaining posts will be somewhat shorter than Parts 1-6 were, so perhaps I can work on them at the rate of one a day and then publish them over the next few weeks.
I'm going to take my night-time medication in a minute and then head for my bed. With a bit of luck I might manage to get to sleep before morning arrives.
4 comments:
I feel a little flat, my guess its not just you. Could you pop out tomorrow for knitting needles and perhaps order in takeaway or just buy a ready meal you fancy so that you eat something hot. Mood food I think they call it. Really hope you get some sleep, sleep deprivation turns days upside down - if I am awake at night I eat rubbish and at this time of year too much chocolate to hand! Hoping you can tell it how it is in phone call. Losing a knitting needle or getting knitting wrong which I do often sends me into major sulk mode even though I know its only an inanimate object. Big things bother me less - does that make me shallow I wonder? Whats keeping you awake hun? Thinking of you and hoping the next day is better than the last. There's some really crap tv which I am finding myself watching in the name of relaxation. Easier said than done I know but if all else fails watch some crap tv like me, its great for avoiding stuff thats upsetting and some of its funny at this time of year. Could you ask gp for a free pass to a local gym just to help with downdays, I am sure they are supposed to do that. Then if the weather is bad at least exercise can be done in the warm at someone elses expense! Just a random thought.
Good luck with the sleep.
I think the period after Christmas is always a bit of a letdown. Places are still closed, shops are packed and everyone has moved on to thinking about the new year. Personally the new year is my most hated time of year: I'm one of those people who look back at another year gone rather than a brand new year waiting to start!
Hopefully once you get through the next weekend things will be on the up again: I'll be back at work and gearing up for a very large number of exam scripts to mark:(
And if those are my wrist warmers then please don't worry about them!
I hope you managed to get some sleep last night and things have somewhat improved for you. Take care x
*hugs*
Post a Comment