Lasagne For Breakfast

I didn't sleep very well last night. That's nothing new but although I did take medication to help me sleep, I was still awake at about 2am and when I did finally drop off I was awake again by 6am. I knew that I needed more sleep but when I tried to get settled again I couldn't because I was feeling hungry.

Hungry is not something that I do very often. Depression robs me of my appetite and also the will to actually make an effort to cook for myself. I'm a reasonable cook, so it's not as though I can't cook, just that it seems such a lot of effort for one person. This means that I rarely have a roast dinner anymore, and that is definitely one of my favourites. There is nothing like some really rare roast beef accompanied by roast potatoes, and roasted vegetables such as parsnips, carrots, courgettes, and aubergine; and there should be Yorkshire puddings and a good dollop of horseradish sauce too all served up with a good helping of proper gravy made in the tin that the meat was roasted in.

When I am well I can be quite inventive too. I make a really lovely dish which comprises diced potato, diced sweet potato, diced aubergine, diced onion, garlic, ginger, salmon, salt and pepper for seasoning, a good squeeze of lime and a healthy handful of dill to finish it off. It takes longer to prepare the vegetables for the dish than it does to cook it.

I might not be ready to start experimenting with my cooking at the moment but I am starting to enjoy food again. It's been a long time happening so I'm not well stocked up with things to experiment with. So at 7am this morning I was standing in front of the microwave waiting for it to heat up a lasagne ready meal.

I admit it's not something that I have ever had for Sunday breakfast before, but it certainly tasted good and I now feel that I might actually be going to buy some raw ingredients for a few meals over the coming week. This has to be another sign that I am at long last coming out of this horrendous period of depression that I have been enduring since the beginning of last August.

Sleeping For England And Other Stories

My depression is lifting and for the first time in a number of months I am feeling quite bright on a regular basis. Yes, I sometimes wake up and feel that I don't want to get out of bed, but it's laziness speaking rather than depression. And it is laziness, and a bit of lack of inspiration, that has meant that I have not been updating this blog as regularly as normal.

Saturday saw me sleeping for England. As with most people who suffer with depression I have problems sleeping. I usually don't have too much of a problem getting to sleep, but I have a tendency to wake after a couple of hours and find it impossible to get back to sleep. After about a week of this I am usually like a zombie. However, as my mood has been improving over the last couple of weeks, so has my sleep pattern. I still tend to wake after a couple of hours, but I am finding it easier to get back to sleep. Saturday was a bit different. I went to bed relatively early on Friday night and fell asleep almost immediately, I woke up for a call of nature, got back into bed and fell asleep, carried on sleeping until a reasonable hour, wrote an email, read a few blogs, went back to sleep, woke up, turned over in bed and went back to sleep again.

I probably slept for about 30 hours during a 36 hour period, but my body obviously needed it and I slept well Saturday night and again last night. So if the talent scouts are looking for prospective members for the Team GB Olympic Squad for Egyptian PT then can I put my name forward?

I have been taking a rest from knitting complicated lace patterns over the last few days and have managed to knit a scarf (yes, I know that winter seems to be over but it will be there for next year), and knit the back of a jumper and start the front of it. I find that taking a break from knitting complex patterns for a few days can revitalise my zeal for knitting. And it was so nice to read in the week that research has shown that knitting can help to delay memory loss. As someone who has been a knitter for all her life this is indeed good news, all I have to do now is remember where I put my knitting.

Today, I am going to write the last part of my lecture and finish the PowerPoint slides. I should really have done it over the weekend, but with sleeping for England on Saturday, and deciding to have a relaxing day yesterday with my knitting, it didn't get done. But I am feeling quite enthusiastic about it today and I am hoping that it won't take me too long to finish drafting it. Thursday is the big day when I give this lecture and while I am a little bit anxious about doing it, I am rather looking forward to the occasion too.

And I have decided to try to get back to posting everyday. I miss writing about the things that I am doing, how I am feeling, and the crazy things that I see about me. I can't promise that there will be something everyday, but I intend to do my best. And there will be more photos of the things that I am knitting so that you can see how I am getting on.

No Longer On My Hands And Knees

For the first time for nearly a week I am able to walk around the house without too much fear of falling over. My labyrinthitis seems to be improving, but having had it before I am well aware that it may flare up again, so I won't count my chickens before they're hatched. No matter, it is nice to be able to walk around without having to hold on to the walls, or while it was at its worst on my hands and knees. That is one of the problems of living on my own.

Meals have been very basic for the last few days, but as I am now able to stand unaided I am going to be able to cook something for myself tonight. Oh, joy!