Tuesday, 21 July 2009

No Bed Of Roses

I'm spiralling down into a deep depression at the moment and activity is becoming something that is a real chore rather than something that is normal. I don't sleep properly at night and don't want to get out of bed in the morning.

I have managed to do a little bit of knitting and I am now working on the edging for the shawl that I have been knitting. So far I have completed a little more than half of one side of the square shawl. The length of time that it has taken me to knit this much indicates that it will take me about a week to complete it, although I am getting a little quicker as I progress. Not exactly a case of practice makes perfect, but practice does make faster.

The weather doesn't help to dispel the depression either. Day after day it rains and at times it is so cold a jumper is needed. As the end of July approaches we can only hope that August and September turn out to be better.

I shall carry on doing what I can to keep myself going. I'll keep taking the tablets, keep knitting when I can, read while I am able to concentrate, and try to do the things that I need to survive everyday life.

3 comments:

angus said...

Hang in there:)

Jim Baxter said...

I get the black dog really full on. I don't imply that it is any more serious than the emotions you experience - when you are in emotional pain that pain is as real as any other pain, and harder to palliate.

I think though that the female type of depression tends - and I say tends - to be more about deep sadness and the masculine kind is much more angry. tends. There are plenty of very angry women.

The other day I decided I'd had enough. I took myself off to a place which has a very big bridge with a high span over a river. This was it. As I was working my way towards the bridge a lady stopped her car - mid street - and called to me. Excuse me - do you know that the police are looking for you? No, Oh yes. Late me take you to them. Get in and let me give you a lift.

One of the first rules of female motoring is that many cannot parallel park. I'm sorry, I mean that you never offer a lift to a man you have never met.

She did. She knew I meant her no harm.

The cops knew all about me. My description had been circulated. My intentions had been rumbled by locals who had spotted me and phoned in. So I am still here. That lady saved my life, as did whover phoned in and the cops. Now, perhaps they just were fed up with corpses turning up on their shores. I think there was more to it than that though. I saw compassion, empathy, and humour.

I learned. I won't attempt it again. I will try to help instead as you do with your work, your blog, and lovely knitting.

Alison said...

Sorry to hear the depression is descending keep continuing to do what you are doing, if you need to sleep in the day so be it, it’s your bodies way of telling you that you need to rest... at least you are keep yourself occupied with the knitting... take care of yourself x