Friday, 7 November 2008
It's Friday morning and I have the usual butterflies in the stomach. Actually, they are more the size of pterodactyls and I can feel them banging and crashing around inside me. It really is quite bizarre and by this time I ought to be able to cope with my Friday morning psychotherapy sessions without falling prey to these terrors.
I think that I know why I am feeling like this. I am going to try and start talking as soon as we get settled in the room, like I did last week. It is this that is preying on my mind and causing high levels of anxiety. I have also realised that it is getting into this state that is sometimes the trigger for a period of depression. Knowing that, I am able to tell myself that I really don't have any reason to get depressed and that I must just try to get through the day without worrying too much about anything.
So when I get back from the hospital, I will have something to eat, sit down and reread my TMA and if I am happy with it I will send it off to my tutor. The rest of the afternoon will be some 'me' time. I shall sit down with my knitting and watch a DVD or two, and just try to relax. I have a busy week ahead and there are two really big things occurring on Wednesday and Saturday, which will require me to cope with situations that I usually find so difficult. I'll let you know how things go later.