Friday, 10 October 2008
With A Bit Of Courage And Knocking Knees
Last night I attended my first tutorial since 2001. One of the things that has happened to me since I started to suffer from depression is that I have found it very difficult being with people I don't know. I didn't attend any tutorials while doing my first OU course, and only attended a couple during my second one. After that I managed to get through all my courses without attending any, so to make the effort and attend one last night was quite an achievement.
First of all I had to go to a location that I had never been to before, but fortunately I found it pretty easily. Then I had to summon up the courage to actually walk into the building, and then to find the room that the tutorial was to be held in. I arrived very early, that's just one of my things, and I went up to the room about 30 minutes before the tutorial was due to begin. This was so that I could be the first person in the room, walking in with somebody already being there might make it impossible for me to stay. I found myself a seat as close to the door as possible and I sat there reading until the tutor arrived about 10 minutes later.
There are 24 people in the tutor group supposedly, but only eight of us attended so our tutor had a fairly easy time of it. I stayed for the whole two hours, although I was beginning to feel very uncomfortable towards the end and I was out of the door like a shot when the tutorial was over. A brisk walk of about a mile brought me to the bus stop that I needed, and within one minute my bus arrived. As the tutorial location was at one end of the bus route, and I live at almost the other end of the route, the journey took an hour, then a brisk walk along the road and I was home. In one piece.
The next tutorial is next Thursday. I don't know whether I will be going to it yet, we'll have to see how I am on the day.