Tuesday, 6 July 2010


At 8 o'clock tomorrow morning I will be officially homeless. Yesterday I found somewhere to stay for a couple of weeks while I sorted out some rented accommodation only to receive a phone call this morning while I was waiting for the bus to take me to my psychotherapy session saying that the offer had been rescinded.

I'm sure that you can imagine how I felt. By the time that I got to see my therapist I was an absolute wreck and it didn't take him many seconds to realise that there was something seriously wrong. We talked through the situation and he made a couple of phone calls to the CMHT and managed to make arrangements for my key worker to see me once the therapy session was over.

We continued with the therapy session by discussing the impact that this has had on me. At that moment I felt alone and vulnerable and suicide was at the forefront of my mind. Much of the rest of the session was spent talking about the way that I am constantly suffering setbacks and how this is causing me to sink into deeper and deeper depression.

I don't have psychotherapy next week because I am due to go into hospital for my day surgery so I won't see my therapist for two weeks and then there will only be that session and one more before this course of psychotherapy ends. We talked about the impact that the ending of therapy will have on me. I said that I thought that I had accepted that end was in sight, but my therapist is concerned that even though I think that I will be able to cope, it may be harder than I think and that I may experience a sense of grieving.

I made my way to the CHMT and we rang around countless bed and breakfast places to try find me some temporary accommodation but none had vacancies. I left them and made my way towards home and a visit to an estate agent that I knew had some accommodation for rent. I have found myself a ground-floor studio flat that I can move into in two weeks time. It is in the same road that I am living in at the moment so I know the neighbourhood and it is just yards away from the bus stop that serves most of the buses that I use on a frequent basis. I have to go into the estate agents tomorrow to fill in the necessary paperwork and pay a holding fee.

This evening I am going to have to spend time on the web trying to find myself some accommodation for the next two weeks. I think that there are a couple of places not too far from where I am at the moment so keep your fingers crossed that one of them will be able to provide me with a bed for a couple of weeks.


cb said...

Good luck - I know the words are a bit shallow but you have all my best wishes - for what they are worth

fine fine fine said...

Im really sorry this is happening for you. You will find somewhere but I know that feeling of displacement, horrible. Will think of you x

Sorrel said...

Good luck with finding somewhere for a fortnight - I hope it gets sorted out soon. Trying to find a new home is very stressful at the best of times. I'm really glad you have found a place to live in two weeks time though x

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you've been feeling more depressed recently. I have faith that things will turn around soon.

And the new apartment sounds like a really good find. Best of luck finding somewhere to stay until you can move into your new place. I'm sure you'll be able to find someplace.

Wishing you well,

Sarah - Tales of a Borderline personality said...

I hope it all works out for you, please keep us updated. x

Anonymous said...

i'm keeping everything crossed that you find something until you can move into your new place. i wish you the very best.


Anonymous said...

I hope your okay MSG and you have got somewhere sorted for yourself. Thinking of you x