Tuesday, 13 April 2010

Plummeting Down

I'm having problems at the moment. I'm still not sleeping properly at night and I'm not even able to catch a few minutes sleep during the day. All of this means that instead of slowly sinking into depression I seem to now be plummeting at speed.

It's at times like this that I really miss being able to talk to Mr Smiley and benefit from his words of wisdom. He would tell me that I have been in this position before and I have got through it. He would tell me to focus on what I can manage rather than try to do things that I can't and that will only make me feel worse. He would tell me that I was strong and that I will come out the depression even stronger. He would tell me that and much more.

The problem is that although I know exactly what he would say to me, how he would encourage me, it doesn't make it any easier. It can be so much more difficult for you to convince yourself, even when you use the same words, as when someone that you trust says the words to you.

I know that these feelings will pass. I know that things will get better. But knowing doesn't make it any easier to cope with depression.

3 comments:

jessa said...

But knowing doesn't make it any easier to cope with depression.

So true, so true. This is something I have told mental health care professionals often when they say, "but you know better." Knowing that my feelings are irrational doesn't make them go away. They often don't have much to offer me after that.

BenefitScroungingScum said...

Beautifully put. I know you are far, far stronger than you realise. Just look at all the people who've benefited from your strength via your blog, we're reflecting it back at you. Hugs BG Xx

Wendy Love said...

Okay friend, I will be Mr. Smiley for you. "You have been in this position before and you have gotten through it. Focus on what you can manage rather than try to do things that you can't which will only make you feel worse. You are strong and you will come out the depression even stronger." Now to add a few words of my own. Hang on dear friend, don't give up. Somehow...you will get through. I sure do understand where you are right now...I sure do know that sinking feeling.... This is the point that I end up getting depressed about being depressed. Then when I realize "oh,this is just depression", I accept it, give in, rest, and wait to get well again. I am praying for you!