Friday, 26 February 2010

Just So You Know

I have been out of action since Sunday. It wasn't the computer; it was me. I was feeling so depressed and suicidal Sunday morning after another night without sleep that I took myself of to A&E to seek help from the psychiatric liaison team. The net result of this is that I have spent the week back in the psychiatric hospital. The lovely Lily from The Student Doctor Diaries came to visit me on Monday and Tuesday and kept me from going completely up the wall.

I have been discharged this evening even though I am far from well with a sheaf of pamphlets and the instruction to call the psychiatric liaison team if I am having trouble coping over the weekend. I will, of course, be adding this experience to the Tackling the Mental Health Minefied Series, but it may be a few days in appearing.

I'm afraid that one of the consultants and I seem to have differing views on my safety at home. In hospital I was able to do considerable self-harm to a number of parts of my body and that was without recourse to sharp instruments; why he should think that I won't partake of a large number of tablets and use a sharp knife at home in furtherance of this, I really don't know. And I still haven't had a night's sleep even though the medication that I was taking to help with sleep was increased to a dose that could fell an elephant but I was to be found three or four hours after taking the medication playing games on my Nintendo DSi, doing Sudoku puzzles or reading a book.

10 comments:

Bippidee said...

Sorry to hear you have been back in hospital. I really hope that things start improving again for you soon. xxx

intothesystem said...

Sorry to hear that. :(

I was having similar debates with my consultant. She seemed to think I'd be just fine when I was already teetering on the edge of safety when I was on the ward. To be fair I've only done some minor self-harm but I am being watched almost 24/7 by my partner.

Take care xx

Kate said...

Hang in there MSG. These are tough times. I'm sorry you're back in this place but there is light at the end of tunnel and the springtime will burst forth. Just keep your eye on it.
Thinking of you
K.x

alhi said...

Hang in there. I thought something must have happened and meant to email, but I'm afraid I've been caught up in my own stuff, no excuses.
Don't go any further down the route of self-harming, it doesn't lead anywhere except deeper into the pits of despair: you feel bad so you harm, then you have a brief respite once you do and then utter self-loathing at what you've done. I'm battling those demons right now and currently winning; I'm just not sure for how long.

eccedentesiat said...

Also sorry to hear this. Call the numbers if you need them lovely. Keep yourself as safe as poss and keep going xx

Hayley said...

Thinking of you hunni, consultants sometimes dont seem to know best do they? They seem to not think about our actual needs and requirements. Take care of yourself and remember the numbers and A n E are there if you need them!

JaneB said...

Sorry to hear that things have been dark again, and that the consultant isn't listening effectively - do, do use the numbers and go back if you need to, won't you?

BenefitScroungingScum said...

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a bad time of it. I'll be thinking of you today and sending lots of positive internet hugs and love.
BG Xx

Lily said...

Hope you're getting on alright at home. I'm off on my peripheral placement now but if you need a chat give me a call or an email!

x

Alison said...

I am so sorry you have been back in the hospital... thinking of you x