Thursday, 14 May 2009


I'm having a difficult time with depression at the moment. I've been feeling very low for a number of weeks, I am feeling abandoned after the ending of psychotherapy, and tomorrow would have been my wedding anniversary (the 11th since my husband died and they don't get any easier).

At the moment I am finding it difficult to summon up the enthusiasm to do anything and I am finding it very difficult to concentrate so anything that requires thought to enable it to happen is proving difficult. As a result, television is one of the few things that I can cope with, but even then I am selective about what I watch.

There wasn't much that attracted my eye when I looked to see what was on tonight. The only thing that remotely interested me was on BBC 2. It is entitled Keep it in the Family, and tonight's programme is about the Chapman family who own the Castle Hotel in Taunton. Privately-owned hotels such as this one, which has an international reputation, are rare these days, and the Castle Hotel also has a reputation for the food it serves. Gary Rhodes is a former employee. The owner of the hotel, Kit Chapman, believes that it is important that guests receive a warm welcome on arrival, and it is he who has been responsible for the hotel's well-deserved reputation.

But I can't watch this programme at the moment. I shall have to leave it for a few days and then watch it on BBC iPlayer. There is a reason. It is one of those coincidences that can make life really difficult for us.

The Castle Hotel in Taunton is where I spent my honeymoon.


Achelois said...

I came by your blog via bendy girls and have only read your latest blog entry. I just wanted to say I understand why you can't watch the programme until you are ready on iplayer. I hope when you do it reminds you of a wonderful time and am so sorry to hear of the sad loss of your husband. You must hate the words time is a great healer, I have never been so sure of that. I will make time to watch it also on iplayer and will think of you when I do. Take care and although you don't know me - take care. i will definately be returning to read your blog more fully when able and my thoughts are with you.

cb said...

I can't say anything too profound I'm afraid because these coincidences can seem almost torturous at times. Keep well.