,,, catches the worm; or so the saying goes.
It was late when I got to sleep last night even though I had promised myself an early night. It was early when I woke up this morning, and with it being Tuesday, and therefore, psychotherapy day, I decided that allowing myself to fall back to sleep was not necessarily a good idea. I needed to find something to do that would keep me awake.
My solution to this problem has been to bring up to date my lecture notes for the lecture that I will be giving next week. I had already cut and pasted various posts from this blog into the lecture notes from last year. I had intended to do the editing one morning last week but things conspired against me. It was a job that still needed to be done and procrastination was not going to make it go away, so I fired up the computer and set to work.
I have added what happened at the termination of my psychotherapy last year, a brief mention of my hospitalization, and some thoughts about the psychotherapy that I am undergoing at the present time. I have also added the section that 'S' asked me to put in about what I think the qualities that a therapist requires.
This additional material has added about 15 minutes to my lecture, but there are a few areas that I will probably skim over, or cut out completely, when the day actually arrives. I am responsible for the whole of the morning session, so while my actual lecture is probably slightly longer than an hour in length, there is still plenty of time left for discussion afterwards. Last year, this developed into a question and answer session rather than the seminar that had originally been planned. 'S' wants it to follow the same formula again. And I am more than happy to accede to this request.
Yes, it can be quite difficult talking about the subject, after all, therapy is a very personal thing. But I believe that it is most important that the postgraduate students get a feel for what it is like to be on the receiving end of therapy rather than just looking at the subject from a theoretical point of view focusing on the different types of therapy that abound.
So, my lecture is prepared. All that is left for me to do is to print it and put it in a folder ready for me to take with me next week. At least waking early this morning has not been totally wasted.
Showing posts with label lecture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lecture. Show all posts
Tuesday, 16 March 2010
Thursday, 30 April 2009
Another Early Start
After a poor night's sleep, I have another very early start today as I have to travel across London to listen to a couple of lectures. These lectures are going to be given by a world-renowned psychologist on the treatment of depression.
I have to admit that until I was invited to give the lecture about the patient's view of psychotherapy I had never heard of this person. However, over the last couple of days I have been reading up about her and I am looking forward to hearing what she has to say about psychotherapy and depression.
So having done my morning's ablutions I have now only to get myself ready to go out and then set off for the bus stop hoping that I don't have a repeat of the nightmare journey that I had last week when I went to hear 'S' lecture. I've decided to leave a little earlier than I did last week, so knowing my luck everything will go like clockwork and I will end up arriving far too early. Still, it is better to arrive early than to get there late. I'm afraid that I am a bit of a punctuality freak and the rush that I had to make it on time last week unsettled me a little.
I have to admit that until I was invited to give the lecture about the patient's view of psychotherapy I had never heard of this person. However, over the last couple of days I have been reading up about her and I am looking forward to hearing what she has to say about psychotherapy and depression.
So having done my morning's ablutions I have now only to get myself ready to go out and then set off for the bus stop hoping that I don't have a repeat of the nightmare journey that I had last week when I went to hear 'S' lecture. I've decided to leave a little earlier than I did last week, so knowing my luck everything will go like clockwork and I will end up arriving far too early. Still, it is better to arrive early than to get there late. I'm afraid that I am a bit of a punctuality freak and the rush that I had to make it on time last week unsettled me a little.
Thursday, 26 February 2009
A Day To Remember
First of all let me say a really big thank you to all of you who sent me good luck wishes for my big day; I really appreciate each and every one of them. And now, because you have sat through and read about all my concerns about how today was going to be, I'll tell you how it went.
It was brilliant!
My journey across London was not without its problems, but I arrived in good time and as I was almost at the building I received a 'good luck' text on my mobile from Mr Smiley. His timing was perfect. 'S' came down to reception to meet me and we went for a cup of tea to talk over how I wanted to do things and what I had in mind for the seminar after I had done my lecture.
The lecture itself went very well. Having printed out my 'script' I had it in front of me to help me make sure that I didn't forget what I had to say, but certainly for the first part of it I used it only to keep me on track, and I even managed to include important little explanations that I hadn't thought to write down. The second half, which was based on the emails and posts from this blog, were always meant to be read so that the students could get a feel for how I felt at the time that I had written them rather than how I felt about those times looking at them in retrospect. It was a good choice, because I think that the format worked well.
After the lecture I talked a little about my blog. This wasn't in order to get more readers, but as a means of explaining to the students that there was lots of people out there writing about their experience of living with mental illness. The point about reading blogs written by us 'mentals' is that we tell it how it is. It isn't packaged into academic language such as you would find in books about therapy or mental illness; it is raw data. I talked a little about the blogs that I read, and how we support each other when things are not going well. So if you suddenly find your visitors increasing, it could be because the students are reading what we have to say about living with mental health problems.
After the lecture there was a short break before the seminar part started. The discussions that 'S' and I had over our cup of tea fell by the wayside because 'S' felt that I had touched on some very important points in my lecture and thought that we ought to discuss those in more detail. So the exercise in role-playing exploring how to develop a good therapeutic relationship was forgotten and a discussion on these points ensued instead. It went well, with 'S' mentioning a point and then the students giving their thoughts on it and me explaining how each point appeared to the 'user'. I think that it gave them some real food for thought, with the discussion both lively and enjoyable. When we had covered all the points, 'S' thanked me and the students spontaneously gave me a round of applause.
So how do I feel now that it is all over? Well, I feel great. The students seemed to engage right from the start, and I believe they now have a much better understanding of why a good therapeutic relationship is so important and how bad things can get if that relationship is not a good one. They now have a real idea of what it is like for the patient/client/user (personally I prefer the term patient, after all we are ill and therefore should rightly be termed patients) and how traumatic an experience that therapy can be.
The anxiety and nervousness that I had expected never really materialized. I was actually quite calm when I met 'S' and I really enjoyed presenting my lecture and the discussion that followed it. I am already booked for the next time the course is run, and 'S' is going to look to see if there are other parts of the course where I can be involved so that the students understand how these other aspects are viewed by someone with mental health problems. It's just a shame that I don't have a psychotherapy session tomorrow so that I can report my triumph to my therapist. Still, it does mean that I will have something with which to start the session next week, instead of there being a long silence at the start.
It was brilliant!
My journey across London was not without its problems, but I arrived in good time and as I was almost at the building I received a 'good luck' text on my mobile from Mr Smiley. His timing was perfect. 'S' came down to reception to meet me and we went for a cup of tea to talk over how I wanted to do things and what I had in mind for the seminar after I had done my lecture.
The lecture itself went very well. Having printed out my 'script' I had it in front of me to help me make sure that I didn't forget what I had to say, but certainly for the first part of it I used it only to keep me on track, and I even managed to include important little explanations that I hadn't thought to write down. The second half, which was based on the emails and posts from this blog, were always meant to be read so that the students could get a feel for how I felt at the time that I had written them rather than how I felt about those times looking at them in retrospect. It was a good choice, because I think that the format worked well.
After the lecture I talked a little about my blog. This wasn't in order to get more readers, but as a means of explaining to the students that there was lots of people out there writing about their experience of living with mental illness. The point about reading blogs written by us 'mentals' is that we tell it how it is. It isn't packaged into academic language such as you would find in books about therapy or mental illness; it is raw data. I talked a little about the blogs that I read, and how we support each other when things are not going well. So if you suddenly find your visitors increasing, it could be because the students are reading what we have to say about living with mental health problems.
After the lecture there was a short break before the seminar part started. The discussions that 'S' and I had over our cup of tea fell by the wayside because 'S' felt that I had touched on some very important points in my lecture and thought that we ought to discuss those in more detail. So the exercise in role-playing exploring how to develop a good therapeutic relationship was forgotten and a discussion on these points ensued instead. It went well, with 'S' mentioning a point and then the students giving their thoughts on it and me explaining how each point appeared to the 'user'. I think that it gave them some real food for thought, with the discussion both lively and enjoyable. When we had covered all the points, 'S' thanked me and the students spontaneously gave me a round of applause.
So how do I feel now that it is all over? Well, I feel great. The students seemed to engage right from the start, and I believe they now have a much better understanding of why a good therapeutic relationship is so important and how bad things can get if that relationship is not a good one. They now have a real idea of what it is like for the patient/client/user (personally I prefer the term patient, after all we are ill and therefore should rightly be termed patients) and how traumatic an experience that therapy can be.
The anxiety and nervousness that I had expected never really materialized. I was actually quite calm when I met 'S' and I really enjoyed presenting my lecture and the discussion that followed it. I am already booked for the next time the course is run, and 'S' is going to look to see if there are other parts of the course where I can be involved so that the students understand how these other aspects are viewed by someone with mental health problems. It's just a shame that I don't have a psychotherapy session tomorrow so that I can report my triumph to my therapist. Still, it does mean that I will have something with which to start the session next week, instead of there being a long silence at the start.
The Big Day
I'm sitting in my dressing gown waiting for my hair to dry (it should only take a few more minutes because it is short) before getting myself dressed ready to travel across London to face the ordeal. Actually, that's not fair because I do not really see today as being an ordeal.
I have written what I hope is an informative lecture on what it is like to go through therapy. Some of it has been written at a cost of some pain. Thinking about my first encounter with therapy, and the feelings that it caused me to have, meant that I had to leave the writing for a few days to forget about how horrible that experience had been. Reading it through later, and talking about it with Mr Smiley when we met for lunch last week, showed me that this part of the lecture was likely to cause me to become a little emotional and that the possibility of this happening meant that I would have to change the introduction so that the students would understand why I might suddenly get a lump in my throat or need to grab for a tissue or two.
For the experience of the therapy that I am going through now, I have not had to think about what it has been like and write about it because I have already done that. The second part of the lecture is based on emails that I have written to Mr Smiley and posts from this blog. As a result, what I say in this part of the lecture is much more 'of the moment' because the material was written within hours of the session that it refers to. By using this approach, the lecture is probably a truer reflection of what it is like to experience therapy than would have been possible if I had sat down and written about months after the event. At least, I hope that is how it comes across.
I didn't manage much sleep last night, so there's no surprise there, however, I am not feeling anywhere near as anxious as I thought I would be. Actually, I'm feeling rather calm, which worries me a little. But I will set out in a little while, armed with my folder containing the lecture, plus a memory stick with it in digital form in my handbag (definitely a belt and braces approach for me today), and walk to the bus stop to start my journey across London in the rush hour. I'll let you know how things went later.
Now, remind me again, why did I say that I would never come back to live in London?
I have written what I hope is an informative lecture on what it is like to go through therapy. Some of it has been written at a cost of some pain. Thinking about my first encounter with therapy, and the feelings that it caused me to have, meant that I had to leave the writing for a few days to forget about how horrible that experience had been. Reading it through later, and talking about it with Mr Smiley when we met for lunch last week, showed me that this part of the lecture was likely to cause me to become a little emotional and that the possibility of this happening meant that I would have to change the introduction so that the students would understand why I might suddenly get a lump in my throat or need to grab for a tissue or two.
For the experience of the therapy that I am going through now, I have not had to think about what it has been like and write about it because I have already done that. The second part of the lecture is based on emails that I have written to Mr Smiley and posts from this blog. As a result, what I say in this part of the lecture is much more 'of the moment' because the material was written within hours of the session that it refers to. By using this approach, the lecture is probably a truer reflection of what it is like to experience therapy than would have been possible if I had sat down and written about months after the event. At least, I hope that is how it comes across.
I didn't manage much sleep last night, so there's no surprise there, however, I am not feeling anywhere near as anxious as I thought I would be. Actually, I'm feeling rather calm, which worries me a little. But I will set out in a little while, armed with my folder containing the lecture, plus a memory stick with it in digital form in my handbag (definitely a belt and braces approach for me today), and walk to the bus stop to start my journey across London in the rush hour. I'll let you know how things went later.
Now, remind me again, why did I say that I would never come back to live in London?
Monday, 23 February 2009
Sleeping For England And Other Stories
My depression is lifting and for the first time in a number of months I am feeling quite bright on a regular basis. Yes, I sometimes wake up and feel that I don't want to get out of bed, but it's laziness speaking rather than depression. And it is laziness, and a bit of lack of inspiration, that has meant that I have not been updating this blog as regularly as normal.
Saturday saw me sleeping for England. As with most people who suffer with depression I have problems sleeping. I usually don't have too much of a problem getting to sleep, but I have a tendency to wake after a couple of hours and find it impossible to get back to sleep. After about a week of this I am usually like a zombie. However, as my mood has been improving over the last couple of weeks, so has my sleep pattern. I still tend to wake after a couple of hours, but I am finding it easier to get back to sleep. Saturday was a bit different. I went to bed relatively early on Friday night and fell asleep almost immediately, I woke up for a call of nature, got back into bed and fell asleep, carried on sleeping until a reasonable hour, wrote an email, read a few blogs, went back to sleep, woke up, turned over in bed and went back to sleep again.
I probably slept for about 30 hours during a 36 hour period, but my body obviously needed it and I slept well Saturday night and again last night. So if the talent scouts are looking for prospective members for the Team GB Olympic Squad for Egyptian PT then can I put my name forward?
I have been taking a rest from knitting complicated lace patterns over the last few days and have managed to knit a scarf (yes, I know that winter seems to be over but it will be there for next year), and knit the back of a jumper and start the front of it. I find that taking a break from knitting complex patterns for a few days can revitalise my zeal for knitting. And it was so nice to read in the week that research has shown that knitting can help to delay memory loss. As someone who has been a knitter for all her life this is indeed good news, all I have to do now is remember where I put my knitting.
Today, I am going to write the last part of my lecture and finish the PowerPoint slides. I should really have done it over the weekend, but with sleeping for England on Saturday, and deciding to have a relaxing day yesterday with my knitting, it didn't get done. But I am feeling quite enthusiastic about it today and I am hoping that it won't take me too long to finish drafting it. Thursday is the big day when I give this lecture and while I am a little bit anxious about doing it, I am rather looking forward to the occasion too.
And I have decided to try to get back to posting everyday. I miss writing about the things that I am doing, how I am feeling, and the crazy things that I see about me. I can't promise that there will be something everyday, but I intend to do my best. And there will be more photos of the things that I am knitting so that you can see how I am getting on.
Saturday saw me sleeping for England. As with most people who suffer with depression I have problems sleeping. I usually don't have too much of a problem getting to sleep, but I have a tendency to wake after a couple of hours and find it impossible to get back to sleep. After about a week of this I am usually like a zombie. However, as my mood has been improving over the last couple of weeks, so has my sleep pattern. I still tend to wake after a couple of hours, but I am finding it easier to get back to sleep. Saturday was a bit different. I went to bed relatively early on Friday night and fell asleep almost immediately, I woke up for a call of nature, got back into bed and fell asleep, carried on sleeping until a reasonable hour, wrote an email, read a few blogs, went back to sleep, woke up, turned over in bed and went back to sleep again.
I probably slept for about 30 hours during a 36 hour period, but my body obviously needed it and I slept well Saturday night and again last night. So if the talent scouts are looking for prospective members for the Team GB Olympic Squad for Egyptian PT then can I put my name forward?
I have been taking a rest from knitting complicated lace patterns over the last few days and have managed to knit a scarf (yes, I know that winter seems to be over but it will be there for next year), and knit the back of a jumper and start the front of it. I find that taking a break from knitting complex patterns for a few days can revitalise my zeal for knitting. And it was so nice to read in the week that research has shown that knitting can help to delay memory loss. As someone who has been a knitter for all her life this is indeed good news, all I have to do now is remember where I put my knitting.
Today, I am going to write the last part of my lecture and finish the PowerPoint slides. I should really have done it over the weekend, but with sleeping for England on Saturday, and deciding to have a relaxing day yesterday with my knitting, it didn't get done. But I am feeling quite enthusiastic about it today and I am hoping that it won't take me too long to finish drafting it. Thursday is the big day when I give this lecture and while I am a little bit anxious about doing it, I am rather looking forward to the occasion too.
And I have decided to try to get back to posting everyday. I miss writing about the things that I am doing, how I am feeling, and the crazy things that I see about me. I can't promise that there will be something everyday, but I intend to do my best. And there will be more photos of the things that I am knitting so that you can see how I am getting on.
Wednesday, 18 February 2009
More Difficult Than I Thought
I have been a little slack in posting over the last couple of weeks. In part this is because my writing has been aimed at a slightly different venture. And it's proving to be more difficult and emotive than I thought it would be.
What is it that is proving so difficult?
I am trying to write a lecture that I will be delivering next week to some postgraduate students on the 'user's experience of therapy'.
I have been giving presentations on a computer system that allows patients to have access to their GP medical records for some months now in conjunction with 'B' who was my GP until his retirement last year. I consider this to be quite an important project and although I am always anxious before a presentation I find that I enjoy the experience once it is over.
Giving presentations to international audiences was an integral part of my job while I was working and it allowed me to make numerous visits to the US, Canada and Australia over the years. I never gave the same presentation twice, which meant that a lot of time was spent drafting the presentation and creating the visual aids to go with it. But drafting this lecture is proving to be much more difficult and the reason is that it is about me and how therapy has impacted on my life.
My first experience was not a success. This was about a year after I was diagnosed with depression and I found the therapist abrasive and unsympathetic. I was very nervous about the experience of baring my innermost thoughts to a complete stranger and when that stranger left me feeling worse when I left each therapy session than I was when I walked in I started to have suicidal thoughts, something that had not happened before. Fifty to 60 minutes each week for about six weeks constantly going over the circumstances of my husband's death was not conducive to my mental health and my GP decided that the therapy should be stopped before my suicidal thoughts were translated into a reality.
For a number of years after this I had a very informal form of therapy. This was regular chats about anything and everything with a very dear friend. He helped to make my life bearable and it was he who broke the news of my mother's death to me and helped me again when my Dad died. He still provides support by providing a friendly ear to this day.
Last May I began my second round of formal therapy and this time I have a much more sympathetic therapist. The result has been than I have discovered a lot about myself and the reasons for my being the way that I am. I still have periods of depression, but I am better able to cope with them, and while the therapy itself can still be traumatic at times, I have never felt the way that I did during and after those sessions with the first therapist.
My lecture will be about all of this, and having now drafted the section about my early experiences of therapy, I am about to draft the rest of it about all that has followed. Not only will the lecture cover the talking therapy that I have had, it will also include the difference that I have found through writing this blog, and the kindness that there has been in the many comments from other bloggers. Sometimes a talking therapy does not only include the spoken word. I have found that the written word can make a huge difference too. So for all of you out there who read my blog and take the time to drop me a comment once in a while, I am sending a heartfelt thank you. You are all helping me to find life bearable again.
Now I suppose that I had better get back to drafting the lecture and finishing off the PowerPoint slides.
What is it that is proving so difficult?
I am trying to write a lecture that I will be delivering next week to some postgraduate students on the 'user's experience of therapy'.
I have been giving presentations on a computer system that allows patients to have access to their GP medical records for some months now in conjunction with 'B' who was my GP until his retirement last year. I consider this to be quite an important project and although I am always anxious before a presentation I find that I enjoy the experience once it is over.
Giving presentations to international audiences was an integral part of my job while I was working and it allowed me to make numerous visits to the US, Canada and Australia over the years. I never gave the same presentation twice, which meant that a lot of time was spent drafting the presentation and creating the visual aids to go with it. But drafting this lecture is proving to be much more difficult and the reason is that it is about me and how therapy has impacted on my life.
My first experience was not a success. This was about a year after I was diagnosed with depression and I found the therapist abrasive and unsympathetic. I was very nervous about the experience of baring my innermost thoughts to a complete stranger and when that stranger left me feeling worse when I left each therapy session than I was when I walked in I started to have suicidal thoughts, something that had not happened before. Fifty to 60 minutes each week for about six weeks constantly going over the circumstances of my husband's death was not conducive to my mental health and my GP decided that the therapy should be stopped before my suicidal thoughts were translated into a reality.
For a number of years after this I had a very informal form of therapy. This was regular chats about anything and everything with a very dear friend. He helped to make my life bearable and it was he who broke the news of my mother's death to me and helped me again when my Dad died. He still provides support by providing a friendly ear to this day.
Last May I began my second round of formal therapy and this time I have a much more sympathetic therapist. The result has been than I have discovered a lot about myself and the reasons for my being the way that I am. I still have periods of depression, but I am better able to cope with them, and while the therapy itself can still be traumatic at times, I have never felt the way that I did during and after those sessions with the first therapist.
My lecture will be about all of this, and having now drafted the section about my early experiences of therapy, I am about to draft the rest of it about all that has followed. Not only will the lecture cover the talking therapy that I have had, it will also include the difference that I have found through writing this blog, and the kindness that there has been in the many comments from other bloggers. Sometimes a talking therapy does not only include the spoken word. I have found that the written word can make a huge difference too. So for all of you out there who read my blog and take the time to drop me a comment once in a while, I am sending a heartfelt thank you. You are all helping me to find life bearable again.
Now I suppose that I had better get back to drafting the lecture and finishing off the PowerPoint slides.
Thursday, 12 February 2009
A Busy Week
It's been a busy week this week, and it hasn't finished yet. After my successful meeting with 'S' on Monday and the lovely lunch, Tuesday was a rather quieter day. I sat at home trying to decide what I was going to include in the lecture and making some notes and gathering material for it. Actually, I was procrastinating a bit because I could have started writing it but I just couldn't face doing that.
Yesterday I was out to lunch again. Yes, I know, I'm getting to be a lady who lunches. I met one of my friends from Corfu. She is English and married a Corfiot and has now lived in Corfu for more than 20 years. My husband and I met her the first time that we went to Corfu and over the years a lovely friendship grew. She was one of the people who helped me during the first dark days after my husband died. Anyway, she comes home for a couple of weeks every February to spend some time with her Mum and when she is over we always go out for lunch one day. We found a lovely little restaurant not far from Westminster Bridge a couple of years ago and we always go there for our meal, sitting at the same table each time.
We had a lovely meal, a bottle of wine, and sat and talked for about two and a half hours. Although we talk on the phone occasionally, there was a lot to talk about this time because I have not seen her for a year. This is because for the first time in 20 years I didn't make a visit to Corfu last year. Up until then I had been every year since 1988, once a year when my husband was alive, but two or three times a year since his death. Anyway we caught up on all the news, and had a lovely time. On leaving the restaurant, we told the waiter that we would be back the same time next year. I'm not sure that he believed us, but it is true, when she is over this time next year, my friend and I will be back there for another meal.
Today I have actually managed to do some real work on the lecture. I also have to dream up some practical work for the students to do, and I think that I have found the perfect exercise so now all I have to do is write to 'S' and see that it meets the course requirements. As far as the lecture itself is concerned, I have started to create the PowerPoint slides that will go with the lecture and done some work on the script itself. I've come to a bit that is going to cause me a certain amount of angst to write, so I have decided to call a halt for the day. I'm quite pleased with what I have done so far, but need to really buckle down to it tomorrow.
However, before I do that I have to go for my Friday morning psychotherapy session. I never know what direction that the therapy is going to take before we get started, but one of the things that I might see if we can discuss is the thing that is causing me the angst in writing this lecture. We have touched on it a couple of times in recent weeks but perhaps now is the time to really thrash it out. Maybe once that is done I can view it a little more dispassionately and it not cause me so much of a problem. It is something that I have to come to terms with if it is not going to cause me problems when I actually deliver this lecture. It's not going to look too good if I end up in tears talking about something that is the real focus of the lecture, especially as I have been asked to make this a regular part of the course module and I will be delivering it several times a year.
Anyway, this evening I am going to do some knitting and not worry about the lecture. The Shetland lace shawl is growing slowly, but at the risk of regretting my words, I have not made any mistakes on the lacy borders and I am now half way to completing them. I have a few complicated rows coming up, but nothing that I can't handle, so with a bit of luck by this time next week I should have finished the borders and be working on the lacy edging. I need to get a move on with it because the baby who it is for was born last week. Still, it is an heirloom piece, so a few weeks late shouldn't matter too much.
Yesterday I was out to lunch again. Yes, I know, I'm getting to be a lady who lunches. I met one of my friends from Corfu. She is English and married a Corfiot and has now lived in Corfu for more than 20 years. My husband and I met her the first time that we went to Corfu and over the years a lovely friendship grew. She was one of the people who helped me during the first dark days after my husband died. Anyway, she comes home for a couple of weeks every February to spend some time with her Mum and when she is over we always go out for lunch one day. We found a lovely little restaurant not far from Westminster Bridge a couple of years ago and we always go there for our meal, sitting at the same table each time.
We had a lovely meal, a bottle of wine, and sat and talked for about two and a half hours. Although we talk on the phone occasionally, there was a lot to talk about this time because I have not seen her for a year. This is because for the first time in 20 years I didn't make a visit to Corfu last year. Up until then I had been every year since 1988, once a year when my husband was alive, but two or three times a year since his death. Anyway we caught up on all the news, and had a lovely time. On leaving the restaurant, we told the waiter that we would be back the same time next year. I'm not sure that he believed us, but it is true, when she is over this time next year, my friend and I will be back there for another meal.
Today I have actually managed to do some real work on the lecture. I also have to dream up some practical work for the students to do, and I think that I have found the perfect exercise so now all I have to do is write to 'S' and see that it meets the course requirements. As far as the lecture itself is concerned, I have started to create the PowerPoint slides that will go with the lecture and done some work on the script itself. I've come to a bit that is going to cause me a certain amount of angst to write, so I have decided to call a halt for the day. I'm quite pleased with what I have done so far, but need to really buckle down to it tomorrow.
However, before I do that I have to go for my Friday morning psychotherapy session. I never know what direction that the therapy is going to take before we get started, but one of the things that I might see if we can discuss is the thing that is causing me the angst in writing this lecture. We have touched on it a couple of times in recent weeks but perhaps now is the time to really thrash it out. Maybe once that is done I can view it a little more dispassionately and it not cause me so much of a problem. It is something that I have to come to terms with if it is not going to cause me problems when I actually deliver this lecture. It's not going to look too good if I end up in tears talking about something that is the real focus of the lecture, especially as I have been asked to make this a regular part of the course module and I will be delivering it several times a year.
Anyway, this evening I am going to do some knitting and not worry about the lecture. The Shetland lace shawl is growing slowly, but at the risk of regretting my words, I have not made any mistakes on the lacy borders and I am now half way to completing them. I have a few complicated rows coming up, but nothing that I can't handle, so with a bit of luck by this time next week I should have finished the borders and be working on the lacy edging. I need to get a move on with it because the baby who it is for was born last week. Still, it is an heirloom piece, so a few weeks late shouldn't matter too much.
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