MadSadGirl Is One Year Old Today

I can't believe it. One year ago today I decided to create this blog. When I started the process I had absolutely no idea what I was going to blog about, whether I would be able to write something on a regular basis, whether anyone would read it, or whether it was going to be a long-term project or something that only lasted for a couple of weeks.

Finding a name for the blog was the first bit of creative thinking that I had to engage in. I wanted something that was catchy; something that would describe me and yet hide me at the same time. I'm still not sure how MadSadGirl came to mind, but it felt good so MadSadGirl it was. It wasn't long before someone had shortened it to MSG and that is how quite a number of commenters address me.

Writing the first post proved to be a bit difficult. I wanted to write enough that should anyone chance across it they would find it interesting enough to perhaps come back again, but I also wanted to make sure that I didn't give too much away so that it would be easy to find out who I really was. I didn't have to worry about what my employers might say because I couldn't work as a result of mental health problems. But I knew right from the start that it would be possible for someone who was truly determined to discover my identity to do so.

Amazingly, I had my first comment within hours of creating the blog. After a few weeks I had a number of regular readers. I wrote about whatever took my fancy. Sometimes it was something that was in the news and sometimes it was what I saw around me. Sometimes the blog was my place for writing down how I felt about things and how I was feeling.

Like many bloggers I diligently wrote something everyday, but I knew that it might not be possible for me to keep this up. I decided that it would be a good place for me to express how the discrimination and stigma associated with having mental health problems affects those of us who suffer in this way. The blog was only three weeks old when I wrote what I still believe to be one of my best posts. How To Deal With Meeting A Person With Depression was written from the heart and actually seemed to flow from my fingers with no effort at all. This post attracted four comments, not many when compared to other bloggers, but each of them complimented me on a well written post and that really did wonders for my self-esteem. The post was also linked by Jobbing Doctor and this linking led to a number of other doctors reading my blog on an occasional basis.

This blog has seen me through some difficult times. I have written about being in the depths of despair, I have written about holes in the ground, I have written about how hard it is to go through therapy, I have written about my experiences and worries relating to talking in front of strangers, I have written about my knitting and how it keeps me sane, I have written about the friendship that has developed between myself and another blogger, There and Back, and how much that friendship means to me. I have written about a life; my life.

I don't have a huge regular readership, I don't attract lots of comments, I don't write everyday, but I do try to make the posts that I write, entertaining, informative, and occasionally amusing. I try to celebrate my good times and I try not to dwell too much on my bad times. While I moderate comments, I have never refused to publish one. I hope that I write well enough for anyone who finds their way here to enjoy what they are reading. But most of all I write because it fulfils some inner need and helps me to keep focused on managing to live with depression.

Here's to a second year of blogging.